On one hand, it’s natural to want to find companionship and move on from your marriage.On the other hand, you’re still legally married and some ties are still there.He doesn't want me to see his place cause (as he says) he's renting a room in an elderly couple's house and since they know he's still legally married, he (as he says) would feel uncomfortable to take me there.He hardly ever spends the night at my place because (as he says) he doesn't sleep well here and needs to get rest to be able to work.The irony is that men, despite their own dissatisfaction are more likely to resist divorce.The majority immediately scramble to salvage their marriages, citing family or finances, prepared to agree to anything to keep their world in tact.It’s normal to feel lonely and vulnerable after a divorce, but that isn’t a reason to rush into a new relationship. If you’re just looking for someone to fill the gap left by your ex, you won’t make the best choices for yourself.by Larry O'Connor, MFT Men’s Challenges with Separation and Divorce “Women grieve the loss of a relationship before ending it, men grieve it after it has ended,” may say it best.
While it’s true that you do need to be extra mindful of your needs and motivations, dating while separated isn’t impossible.
You might not want to talk to your ex about your current dating plans, but if you’re not divorced yet it’s the most honest thing to do. Factor in a little pamper time or even a weekend break here and there to give yourself time to heal. If you’re still hoping to get back together with your partner, or still dealing with a lot of sadness and bitterness surrounding the separation, you’re not ready yet. It’s a huge step, and it’s only natural to feel some hesitation.
Before you can move on to a new relationship, you need to let go of the old one. Just let it run its natural course and do plenty to nurture yourself as you move forward. On the other hand, if you’re finding reasons to let things drag on, it could be that you’re finding excuses to hold back. If you’re on the rebound, you’re more likely to make bad decisions or get into relationships for all the wrong reasons.
Ben also separated from his wife two years ago (yet another thing we have in common), but neither he nor his wife filed.
You see, I separated from my ex two years ago, and our divorce was final about eight months later.
Many of these losses though, are a result men’s typical, if not default, role within marriage of being the financial provider.