I went out with a girlfriend in Montclair, NJ, to a fun place called Just Jakes. It was a little deceiving, sure, but I thought telling the guys I was a single mom would influence their answers—and I wanted raw thoughts.
It was lovely being out sans Jack, having a cold beer at the bar, surrounded by other adults enjoying drinks, conversation, and music. I videotaped their answers, transcribed what they said, and here’s what I got: “It’s not the ideal situation for me.
I don’t have kids, but I want kids, so if she already has one or two, it would be a bonus.
I would just be really cautious about getting close to the kid, because if it didn’t work out, I’d feel bad if the kid got attached, then hurt.” “I think it would be a pain.
Further, if you’re not a kid person or don’t want kids, you should not date a woman with kids to see if you’ll change your mind.
Physical touch should be happening regularly – and I’m talking about outside of the bedroom, too!
Give him a little love tap as you’re passing him in the hall, hold hands when you’re driving in the car, or pause for a quick dance in the kitchen. Obviously you want to keep things G-rated in front of them, but it’s okay for them to see you kissing, cuddling, dancing, and being in love! Part of our job as parents is to model what a strong marriage looks like. After dealing with diapers and crying all day, I need a break and time to transition from “mom mode” to “wife mode.” After the kids are in bed, I take a nice hot bubble bath or shower and let all the stress of the day wash down the drain (along with the spit-up that I’m usually covered in.) Afterward I always feel more refreshed and more .
Also, my friend’s ex had a kid that always wanted to sleep in his mom’s bed and that would be a problem for me. I want all the perks that come with a grown-up relationship.” “A lot of my friends are divorced and one guy even has a kid after a one-night stand.
I've worked with this woman since 2007 and we started dating in February 2011.
But we strongly believe that you have to Think of all the couples you know that have kids.